Why Purpose Requires Courage
Last week at The Tuesday Table, I shared some of the story behind my first book, When the Bell Rings But They’re Gone. This week, I want to go a little deeper and share another part of that journey—the decision that brought me back home to Michigan.
Before I wrote the book, I experienced the loss of four students back-to-back, with hardly enough time to process one loss before facing another. Then came the sudden passing of my sweetheart.
It was a lot.
I continued working, leading, and showing up for others, but inside, I was carrying more than I knew how to process.
Honestly, I needed my mama.
My mama had suffered a stroke several years earlier, and my three sisters had done a wonderful job caring for her in Michigan. Of course, I came home to Michigan often to visit. During the summers, when I was not working, Mama would also come to Illinois and spend several months with me. Those summers gave us precious time together.
But she was getting older, and after everything I had experienced, visiting no longer felt like enough. I did not want to keep loving her from another state or waiting for our next visit. I wanted to be closer to her. More than that, there was a part of me that simply needed to be near my mama.
Through much prayer, I heard God telling me that it was time to return to Michigan.
My first response was, “Huh?”
I liked Illinois. I had lived there for my entire adult life. After graduating from college, I headed to Chicago and built a beautiful life. I had a home, a good job in education, wonderful friends, and people who had become family.
Michigan was where I was raised, but Illinois was where I learned how to be an adult.
So, of course, I had questions.
“You want me to leave my home, my job, my friends, and everything familiar to go back to Michigan?”
“You understand that I bought this house for me and my mama. She even has her own room here. Can You touch her heart and tell her to move here instead?”
I said all the things.
It is funny how we bargain with God as though He has not already considered every point we are making.
Eventually, I said, “Okay, but I have to get a job first. If I get a job, then I will put my house on the market.”
That sounded reasonable to me. I assumed finding the right position would take eight to ten months, so I thought I had plenty of time.
I updated my résumé and began applying. I received inquiries and participated in Zoom and telephone interviews during lunch breaks and after work.
But nothing happened.
Finding a job in education can be difficult once the school year is underway. Most schools make their major hiring decisions before classes begin, and I was trying to relocate in the middle of that cycle. Leaving a secure position without another job waiting for me went against everything that felt practical and responsible.
I remember thinking, “God, I know You told me to do this, so I am trusting You. But if You do not allow me to get a job, then I’m not going.”
Then I heard that still, small voice:
Continue packing your house.
That did not make sense.
“Pack my house? But I don’t have a job.”
Still, I continued packing.
Eventually, I contacted a realtor. We met, discussed the process, and scheduled the photographs. I was nervous. I had lived in my beautiful three-bedroom townhouse for 20 years. It held so many memories, and much of my adult life was connected to that space.
And I still did not have a job in Michigan.
People told me my house could remain on the market for three to eight months. That gave me some comfort. I thought, “Surely I will have a job by then.”
I came to Michigan for a visit and had an interview while I was here. On my way back to Illinois, my realtor called.
“Okay, Ms. Waller, your house is about to go live on the market. Are you ready?”
I said yes because I still believed it would take months before anyone became seriously interested.
About two hours into my drive, he called again.
“Ms. Waller, guess what? Someone would like to see your house today.”
I could not believe it.
“Are you kidding me? I’m not even home! Can we please wait until tomorrow?”
By that evening, four people wanted to see the house. Four more wanted to see it the next day. By the end of the week, I had four offers.
My house was on the market for only one week before I accepted an offer. Thirty days later, I closed.
And no, I still did not have a job when I moved to Michigan.
That was the lesson.
God was teaching me to trust His plan instead of creating one that made me feel comfortable. I wanted a job first. I wanted certainty. I wanted everything to happen in an order that made sense to me.
God simply asked me to move.
Purpose requires courage because sometimes obedience comes before the explanation.
Looking back, I understand why the timing mattered. If my house had remained on the market for months, I probably would have taken it off the market and stayed in Illinois.
If I had stayed, I would not have been here when my mother went into the hospital. I would have been traveling back and forth during a time when she needed me—and when I needed to be near her.
I also needed to be here with my family when my brother passed.
I needed the space that came with this transition—the space to sit, think, feel, pray, and write. That space allowed me to begin writing When the Bell Rings But They’re Gone.
I am not the same person I was when I lived in Illinois.
Sometimes I wonder whether that is a good thing, but perhaps it is neither good nor bad. It is growth. We change as we move through different seasons. We learn from what we have lost, what we have survived, and what God has carried us through.
Much of my growth came through pain. Writing helped me work through some of my trauma and understand what I had been carrying.
But my purpose cannot end with telling my story.
My goal is to use what I have experienced to help schools build systems of support for students, staff members, and leaders. Schools are filled with people who spend every day caring for everyone else while quietly carrying their own grief, stress, trauma, and exhaustion.
That leaves me with the question that continues to guide my work:
Who supports those who support others?
Purpose requires courage because sometimes it grows from the places that hurt us the most.
It takes courage to trust God when His instructions do not make sense. It takes courage to leave what is familiar. It also takes courage to revisit our pain—not to remain stuck in it, but to discover how what we survived might help someone else.
I thought I was simply moving back to Michigan because I needed my mama.
God knew I needed to be here for so much more.
Around the Table
Has God ever asked you to move before you understood where He was leading you?
A Thought to Purpose Challenge
Think about one area of your life where you have been asking God for the entire plan before taking the first step.
This week, ask yourself:
What has God already told me to do?
You may not understand how everything will come together. You may not feel completely ready. But sometimes courage is simply trusting God enough to take the next step.
Until next Tuesday…
Keep creating. Keep believing. Keep living with purpose.
— Kim M. Waller Founder & CEO, More Than Just A Thought LLC Where Creativity Meets Purpose